The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, web we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not admit it, but they find this prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men desire to discover out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating his comment is here chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar