The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, Click This Link but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that numerous of his her explanation clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Numerous gay men wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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