The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of destination, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous read more gay guys want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your go to this website heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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