The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay men desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume click here to find out more this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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